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The Rail & Balls

Contributed by Mike McDermott

The Rail And Balls is a gay bar and pool hall in New York. The patrons offered to buy the superhero Dynamic Man a drink after he defeated a giant mecha-suited criminal just outside the bar. Dynamic Man originally declined, saying that it wasn’t necessary and that alcohol has no effect on him, but the patrons insisted and said they could buy him a soft drink instead. Dynamic Man accepted and went inside, oblivious to the fact it was a gay-orientation establishment.

After his drink Dynamic Man went to leave, and one of the patrons encouraged him to stay a bit longer, and gave him a pat on the bottom. Dynamic Man was one of a group of twelve heroes of the 1940s who got trapped in suspended animation at the end of World War II and only recently thawed out in the present day–with all their old attitudes and perspectives. The very homophobic Dynamic Man immediately flew into a rage and threatened to attack the man, who assured him it was a just a friendly gesture and that he meant no harm. He then went on say that a man like Dynamic Man “who wears his clothes so tight you can tell what religion he is” shouldn’t talk. Dynamic Man stormed out, saying that this sort of thing should have stopped a long time ago.

A few hours later The Rail And Balls was attacked; the bar was torn apart and everyone inside was killed. Dynamic Man was the first suspect, but had an airtight alibi since there were witnesses and video footage of him elsewhere at the time of the attack. Suspicion fell on some of the other members of Dynamic Man’s group, like Black Widow and Fiery Mask, but the Phantom Reporter conducted his own investigation and eventually uncovered who he true killer was and why.

The Rail And Balls first appeared in The Twelve #6 (2008) by J. Michael Straczynski and Chris Weston.

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September 26, 2021
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