Contributed by Mickey Angel Estefan Jr.
I didn’t think Barry would save his Mom because as he said he already has everything he wanted. But I didn’t expect or foresee he would actually have a chance to talk to her. That scene came so close to home. When I was 28 I lost my mother after her almost 2 year battle with cancer. Being her oldest child and only son, it came down to me at her bedside to tell her that my sister and I and my grandparents were going to be ok. I gave her permission to leave us and find rest. And I sat with her as she passed on and saw the final breath leave her body. And I said “As you brought me into this world I shepherd you into the next.” And then I closed her eyes.
Seeing that scene on the show was like living that moment all over again. It is what I call the best worst privilege and nothing in my life before or after has ever been as profound or intimate as that moment. I had to take a break from the finale because right then anything that came after that scene would be ignored…..
So I came back to finish the episode and Barry mentions to Wells/Thawne he had all he needed. And I remember his father saying that saving his mother wouldn’t be worth the cost of losing the man with the good heart that Barry had become. In my own life never a day goes by that I don’t wish I could have saved my mother from that suffering. Or my family from that loss. But I don’t know if I could give up the man I became as a result of it. And all the things I have done in her memory since: the marathons and 100 mile bike races to raise money for cancer research; skydiving to test my limits and live; all the choreography and art and music I have done; all the people who I consoled years later as they faced huge loss; the deep quiet understanding of loss and the gratitude for life.
I know this is just a TV show…fiction…geek a rama goodness for fans. But Grant Gustin just wears his heart on his sleeve on this show and just made it all so genuine.
Who knew Flash would be the show that brings me to tears and yet still comforts.
Mickey is a freelance writer for a performing arts site and his personal blog Mickey’s Ramblings.